One day, she left me with the word.
I wish to have dinner with her but it did not happen.
Since your mother cares me a lot, sometimes we have conflicts as you know.
In that case, we need to wait until she stays calm.
Otherwise, we make the situation worse.
For girls, listen Son, it's not easy to handle their emotions.
They act as if they lose control sometimes so you have to stand it.
Dear Son,
One day, you meet a girl for you.
You need to train yourself until then.
Be nice to girls in general.
It's good to have friends actually.
Son, I was not good at social interactions when I was young.
Therefore, I don't expect you to do well when you are young.
I am sorry to tell about the truth.
You inherite half of my gene and half of your mother.
Both of us were not good at making friends at school.
We are outliers compared to other students.
Being different is always good.
Even though you have a hard time.
You can be friends of extraordinary people.
Well, Son, you need to keep a certain distance with your girlfriend sometimes.
When you feel close to someone, you mix the problems of yours and hers.
In fact, there are some parts which contain both of you.
circle of yours and hers unite at some points.
which means you share some portions with her.
However, it is impossible to stay together all the time.
First semester, I met a Chinese girl, who stays her boyfriend all the time I see her.
I was thinking she would lose chances to mingle with other friends.
How about me and her?
If I take all her time... well, it's impossible literally but I don't want her to bother...
What is LOVE?
Components of LOVE- passion, intimacy, and commitment.
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Love encompasses a variety of strong and positive emotional and mental states, ranging from the most sublime
virtue or good habit, the deepest
interpersonal affection and to the simplest
pleasure.
[1][2]
An example of this range of meanings is that the love of a mother
differs from the love of a spouse, which differs from the love of food.
Most commonly, love refers to a feeling of strong attraction and
emotional
attachment.
[3] Love can also be a
virtue representing human
kindness,
compassion, and affection, as "the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another".
[4] It may also describe compassionate and affectionate actions towards other humans, one's self or animals.
[5]
Love in its various forms acts as a major facilitator of
interpersonal relationships and, owing to its central psychological importance, is one of the most common themes in the
creative arts.
[6] Love has been postulated to be a function to keep human beings together against menaces and to
facilitate the continuation of the species.
[7]
Ancient Greek philosophers identified
five forms of love: essentially,
familial love (in
Greek,
Storge),
friendly love (
Philia),
romantic love (
Eros),
guest love (
Xenia) and
divine love (
Agape). Modern authors have distinguished further varieties of love:
unrequited love,
infatuated love,
self-love, and
courtly love. Asian cultures have also distinguished
Ren,
Kama,
Bhakti,
Mettā,
Ishq,
Chesed, and other
variants or symbioses of these states.
[8][9] Love has additional
religious or
spiritual
meaning. This diversity of uses and meanings combined with the
complexity of the feelings involved makes love unusually difficult to
consistently define, compared to other emotional states.
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http://foodformythought.blogspot.com/2011/06/triangular-theory-of-love.html
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Attachment theory
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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For
infants and toddlers, the "set-goal" of the attachment behavioral
system is to maintain or achieve proximity to attachment figures,
usually the parents.
Attachment theory is a psychological model attempting to describe the dynamics of long-term and short-term
interpersonal relationships between humans. "Attachment theory is not formulated as a general theory of relationships; it addresses only a specific facet": how human beings respond within relationships when hurt, separated from loved ones, or perceiving a threat.
Provided any caregiver, all infants become attached--however
individual differences in the quality of the relationships remain
significant.
In infants, attachment as a motivational and behavioral system
directs the child to seek proximity with a familiar caregiver when they
are alarmed, with expectation they will receive protection and
emotional support.
John Bowlby
believed that the tendency for primate infants to develop attachments
to familiar caregivers was the result of evolutionary pressures, since
attachment behavior would facilitate the infant's survival in the face
of dangers such as predation or exposure to the elements.
[3]
The most important tenet of attachment theory is an infant needs to develop a relationship with at least one
primary caregiver
for the child's successful social and emotional development, and in
particular for learning how to regulate their feelings. Any caregiver is
likely to become the principal attachment figure if they provide most
of the child care and related social interaction.
[4]
In the presence of a sensitive and responsive caregiver, the infant
will use the caregiver as a "safe base" from which to explore.
This relationship can be
dyadic,
as in the mother-child dyad often studied in Western culture, or it can
involve a community of caregivers (siblings/extended family/teachers)
as can be seen in areas of Africa and South America.
[5][6][7]
It should be recognized "even sensitive caregivers get it right
only about fifty per cent of the time. Their communications are either
out of synch, or mismatched. There are times when parents feel tired or
distracted. The telephone rings or there is breakfast to prepare. In
other words, attuned interactions rupture quite frequently. But the
hallmark of a sensitive caregiver is that the ruptures are managed and
repaired."
[8]
Attachments between infants and caregivers form even if this caregiver is not sensitive and responsive in
social interactions with them.
[9]
This has important implications. Infants cannot exit unpredictable or
insensitive caregiving relationships. Instead they must manage
themselves as best they can within such relationships.
Based on her established
Strange Situation Protocol, research by
developmental psychologist Mary Ainsworth
in the 1960s and 1970s found children will have different patterns of
attachment depending on how they experienced their early caregiving
environment. Early patterns of attachment, in turn, shape — but do not
determine — the individual's expectations in later relationships.
[10]
Four different attachment classifications have been identified in children:
secure attachment, anxious-ambivalent attachment, anxious-avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment.
Secure attachment is when children feel they can rely on
their caregivers to attend to their needs of proximity, emotional
support and protection. It is considered to be the best attachment
style.
Anxious-ambivalent attachment is when the infant feels
separation anxiety when separated from the caregiver and does not feel
reassured when the caregiver returns to the infant.
Anxious-avoidant attachment is when the infant avoids their parents.
Disorganized attachment is when there is a lack of attachment behavior.
In the 1980s, the theory was extended to
attachment in adults.
Attachment applies to adults when adults feel close attachment to their
parents, their romantic and platonic partners and their friends.
Attachment theory has become the dominant theory used today in
the study of infant and toddler behavior and in the fields of infant
mental health, treatment of children, and related fields.
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